Today, Galon attempted to broach what might happen if we don’t find you. Or if we find you, and it’s too late.
In all the years I’ve known him, never have I been so close to taking his life. Rage engulfed me, tangled with bitterness and a grief so overwhelming, I almost lashed out like a trapped, wounded animal.
Thankfully, he took one look at my face and left to take watch.
It was the thought of your reaction––your misery when you learned I’d killed him––that reigned in my fury. I’m ashamed now of that impulse. Galon has been by my side since I had seen just nine winters. And the thought of your sadness and disappointment was all that kept him alive.
You’ve leashed a monster, Prisca. Be careful how you wield it.
There is no color in the world without you next to me. I miss watching you laugh. I miss your stolen glances when you think I’m not watching. And I miss being by your side as you make the difficult decisions–the ones that come at such a cost. The brilliant plans, the schemes, all of them have consequences. And you never overlook those consequences. You mourn every casualty, every life altered by your decisions. It’s just one aspect of what will make you an extraordinary queen.
This world has been unspeakably unfair to you, wildcat. Losing your birthparents, learning your mother lied to you, almost dying in that fucking river, and the lives depending on you ever since you discovered your true identity. Yet, you’ve never allowed it to make you hard or cold. Amidst so much pain and death, you’ve remained defiantly, staggeringly alive. And gods, how I love you for it.
I can’t explain how I know this, but I sense we’re getting close to finding you. It’s only a matter of time. And when that moment comes, I swear I’ll never let you go again.
I’ll see you soon, Prisca.
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